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However, if you go for the last option, read the fine print and understand the bonus terms before proceeding. Would I get pimples from all that dairy? Would I shart during a work meeting? It was A. I was working on my second pint of chocolate when I broke my second plastic spoon. Healthy ice cream apparently freezes hard. Anyway, I would need to steal a spoon from the office or something, because what year-old guy owns real silverware? I ended up putting the pint in front of a space heater for a few minutes and making out all right. I do not have a microwave or a legitimate heater.

My morning measurements showed So far, the diet was working for me. Eating ice cream instead of salad for lunch is awesome. However, by the time I arrived at the restaurant where my friends were watching The Golden Globes that night, my stomach was rumbling. For the next three hours they drank frozen margaritas and ate truffle-lobster mac-and-cheese. I, having left pint number five at home, had club soda. By the time Leo made his acceptance speech, everyone was happily drunk and loud. My head hurt. I went home alone and ate ice cream. My breakfast, Mocha Chip, tasted almost exactly like the Chocolate.

I enjoyed the chips for the texture, and could already tell that variety was going to be key to my sanity. The lingering headache from last night immediately felt better after I ate. I was doling out carbs and calories in low enough doses that missing meal- or snack time was probably going to mean pain. I wondered if I should be taking a multivitamin….

Logistically, eating only ice cream turns out to be rather annoying. I carried a freezer-pack cooler with three pints to work, where they sat and slowly melted all day. I ate each flavor—Mint Chip, Strawberry, and Vanilla—like a starving wolf, one every three hours. My last pint was basically a milkshake. At P. I found myself shivering at my desk. I thought, angrily. I looked down at the spoon and pint of ice cream I was eating By The Editors of GQ. By Mark Anthony Green. By Carrie Wittmer. At this point, I was operating with a chronic but mild headache. My business partners would probably be unhappy if they suspected this ice cream thing was affecting my work.

I was trying really hard to not blame my low energy on ice cream. I ate a pint of it that night while playing Tomb Raider instead of— shameless plug alert —writing my newsletter. That night a lady friend came over to watch Netflix. Knowing I was not eating real food, she brought a variety of cruel snacks: mozzarella sticks, vegetable skewers, chips. Or pooped myself, for that matter. The temperature in my apartment, however, was not. It was 25 degrees outside as I stood in my drawers in my kitchen spooning Mocha Chip ice cream into my face.

Why did I decide to do this in the dead of New York winter? But when we analyzed the ingredients after my morning workout, we identified that the main sweetener, erythritol, is actually non-bloating. I asked Andrew to monitor how my strength is affected throughout the diet. I kept up fine during the morning workout, but by the end of the day I was feeling pretty low-energy. I woke up at A. I know. While everyone at the party chugged OJ and did the pre-work twerk, I drank water and thought about how much I wanted to eat the cartoon cheeseburger on the Delivery.

He was training for a bodybuilding contest and busted out a can of tuna fish every two hours. I was at my desk wearing a wool poncho and spooning ice cream while shivering. My friend Jess basically yelled at me for this. By this point, everyone in my life had heard about the ice cream. Their comments had gotten more annoying the more I'd been moping and craving salt. My friend Tim offered me a Slim Jim. I thought about murder. When I was a freshman in college, I invented the perfect meal: Eggo waffles with mint-chip ice cream on them. I ate this breakfast for a whole semester.

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